There’s something about a chain saw.

Julie has an electric one. I also have one but never put the chain on the saw. It just seemed like so much work. And I didn’t really have use for it at my old house.
But now…
There is some sort of medium sized tree/bush in our new back yard. One limb was dead as a doornail. It was about three times the width of my arm (I have fairly small arms). It’s been bothering me since we bought the house in April. So last weekend, I decided it was time. Time to amputate the limb.
I removed Julie’s chainsaw from the cardboard box. I plugged it in.
I like my fingers and have great respect for things that might remove them. So I was cautious. I’m not a reckless guy. I don’t shoot stuff. I don’t punch stuff. I don’t chase snakes – if I see one, I run. But dang, when I saw the teeth of this electric beast, when I began to chop, it was invigorating!
Julie suggested I wait to tackle the limb at a time when she was home to help. Ppppfh. What could she do to help?, I thought.
It wasn’t really planned. I was just working in the yard and the tree yelled out at me, “REMOVE THE BRANCH. DO IT NOW.” I couldn’t not respond.
Julie was at the grocery store when I started. She returned before I finished. She came outside.
“Honey, I can help. I don’t want it to fall on the house.”
It WON’T fall on the house! Ridiculous assumption.
“I’ll be right back. Let me unload the cold items.”
Nice thought. What was I going to do? Just stand there and wait for her to return at some undetermined time? Ppppfh… no. I was so close to completion.
My training in physics suggested the branch would fall away from the house. My intent – the slant at which I was sawing – clearly would lead to a safe landing.
As it fell over the porch, bending the handle of our built in gas grill, I was stunned.
Well that didn’t go as planned.
Julie came running.
“You just couldn’t wait could you?”
“It didn’t hit the house!” I responded, as if it had fallen exactly where I had intended.
VICTORY! – well, sort of.
I don’t know what it is about a guy and his chain saw. It’s an incredible feeling to cut, to tame the wild. A rush of sorts. And really, who has time to wait for the groceries to be unloaded? It’s just not reasonable.