This is my receipt from my our local drugstore.  It is longer than my arm.

I purchased three items:  Isopropyl alcohol, Venus razor blade refills and a new hairbrush for DJ.  Three items and yet the piece of paper coughed out of the register was 19 ½” long.  It is about the same length as the Dead Sea Scrolls.

I am amazed at what stores feel they must include on their receipts.  One grocery store I frequent prints out it’s return policy.  What do you return to a grocery store?

“Can I help you?”

“Ahh, yea.  I made Hamburger Helper for dinner last night and the kids didn’t much like it.  I’ve placed it back in the box.  Could I exchange it for a whole chicken and some marinade?”

Apparently at Rite Aid I have earned 1,018 wellness+ points this year, and yet I don’t feel any better.  I don’t even know what I did to earn them.

Not only did the receipt list my three items and the tax associated with my purchase, but it also has a 16 line description of items that are not eligible to be included toward my accumulated wellness points.  I was reassured when I read that tobacco products were ineligible – they are so unwell.

Oh, I also had the chance to win $1,000 if I completed an on-line survey, within 14 days, about my visit to the store.  I thought to myself, “Why not?”, I could certainly use a grand.  But when I got on the site, I had to enroll in their Access Load2Card system to give them my opinion.  It was simply not worth the trouble.

Had I been able to give them my feedback, this is what I think I would have said:

My visit to your store today was neither exhilarating nor miserable.  I walked down aisle 2 for a hairbrush and sauntered over to aisle 8 for Isopropyl alcohol.  I almost grabbed a bottle of Witch Hazel – which was sitting right beside the alcohol.  They are in very similar containers.  You may want to space them out a bit further.  By the way, what is Witch Hazel and what do you use it for? 

The razor blades were more difficult to find, and they are too expensive.  Could you consider cutting their price?  There are a lot of female legs in this family.  If I had an extra $1,000 I  would buy lots of them.

I walked by the pharmacy and the woman at the register had a dog collar around her neck.  I’m concerned she’s going to fall and its going to get hooked one something.  Could you ask her not to wear that anymore? 

The staff member at the register apparently doesn’t have the authority to hand enter a gift card when it won’t swipe correctly.  Thankfully the customer trying to use the gift card had two and the second one worked.  (I’d like to take a moment to thank my family for not giving me a gift card to Rite Aid for my special occasions).

Oh, and thank you for the receipt.  I’ve decided to be a mummy for Halloween, and it will come in very handy.

Dance Party, Dellwood Drive

Posted by Danny

Tanners love ourselves some sleepovers!  There’s nothing we’d rather do on a Friday night.

Maybe this is why…


Don’t you wish you could spend a weekend with us?

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