Posted by Danny

My mother-in-law gave me a gift certificate for a pedicure for my birthday.  Eee.  I’m just not so sure about that.

I’ve been to the salon on several occasions – primarily to drop a kid off or pick one up.  Did you know they have this blow dryer for your fingers?  You stick your newly painted digits under these tiny Barbie fans and BOOM – you’re set to go!

Last year we had a birthday party there, not mine but one of the girls.  I really wanted to put my tongue under the fan, but I couldn’t find a time that someone wasn’t looking.  And the fans are in the front of the store, right beside the shopping center sidewalk.  I was afraid my mom might walk by.  She told me never to put my tongue near a moving blade.

I asked my mother-in-law if you could get a pedicure if you had planter’s warts.  She asked and they said yes. 

The salon near our house has staff who can all speak another language.  I’ll have to admit, it’s a little disconcerting to have all the staff talking when you don’t know what they’re saying.  They all speak English – so why would they use another language?  I’ll tell you why.  They’d speak in another language if they didn’t want you to know what they were saying.

“Oh, look at his nasty feet!”

“Un.  What did you do wrong to get him girl?”

“He’d better leave me a big tip.”

“I can tell from here he’s cheap.  Won’t even pay to get those warts taken care of.”

“Looks like he cuts his toenails in the Walmart parking lot.”

I told DJ I didn’t want to get my nails painted.  She scoffed – “You don’t have to get your nails painted when you get a pedicure.”  But I thought that’s what a pedicure was –

I do know this – after you get your feet worked on, they make you wear these flimsy yellow flip-flops.  But they’re no good at the beach – they’ll tear up in a minute.  I tried Lisa’s one time, barely made it off our pier before they fell apart.

I do think I’m gonna try this – I love to have my feet rubbed.  And  my mother-in-law told me it’s very relaxing.  What can I say?  I trust her – she’s never led me astray before.

I’ll let you know how it turns out.