Wedding Weekend in DC

Posted by Danny

Top ten things about our wedding weekend in DC

Number 15 (I couldn’t list just 10, sorry):  Stephanie taught me that “sit on a potato pan Otis” spelled backwards is “sit on a potato pan Otis.  I thought she was a genius to figure that out!  Jesse says he’s heard it before.

Number 14:  Everyone in the family tried brussels sprouts for the first time.  One enjoyed them, two were neutral, two gagged at the table and spit them out in their napkins.

Before sprouts

Number 13:  No plastic bunny cups.

Where's the bunny?

Number 12:      A full cavity search at the Capitol and the White House.  Those silly secret service agents.

Number 11:      The reading of “Oh, the Places You’ll Go,” by Dr. Seuss, at the wedding.  Well, he didn’t read it but the book is by him.

Number 10:      The champagne tower.  Ideally, two waiters pour campaign into the top glass and it spills over into the next layer and so on.  Because the venue was an old mansion, the floor was a bit warped and it didn’t work exactly as planned.  But it’s a really cool idea!

Number 9:  An individual, personalized note inscribed for each guest at the wedding!  A thank you note before they get the gift!  Now that’s class.

Number 8:  Really nice handwriting. 

Number 7:  Uncle Jesse saying “spies” in a whispered tone, 167 times and around every corner at the Spy Museum.

Number 6:  The bride and her father (from a dad’s perspective, better than a bride and her new husband).

Number 5:   13 year olds who look so old they are offered wine at the reception (she’s wearing her mom’s shoes!).

Number 4:  Slick backed hair that makes you look ten years older than you are.

Oops, wrong picture - not enough hair to slick!

Number 3:  Dessert on a stick.

Number 2:  Yoko Ono, Jr. (wore them all weekend long indoor and out).

Number 1:  A big bench; a happy family.

The Plastic Bunny Cup

Posted by Danny

This is what our dinner table used to look like.  Well, not exactly.  But it was a lot better than this: 

pathetic

I see a steady decline in our decorum at the table.  Not only is the setting less than it used to be, the manners have slipped a bit too.  We had to make a rule that there could be no bodily functions during dinner.  That WAS NOT a problem a year or so ago.

We used to eat at our table on most nights.  We now sit at the bar in the kitchen.  I have no problem with that, but let me describe:

*Cups:  One wine glass (that’s mine), one NC State cup (if I’m making the drinks I strategically choose that one for Jesse since he’s a huge Carolina fan), two Camp Seafarer cups, and one with a cartoon bunny on the side.

*Plates:  Usually plastic, not always matching.

“Napkins:  The other day I sat down to find a cocktail napkin by my fork.  That is not big enough to wipe MY mouth  and it CERTAINLY isn’t going to make a dent in Jesse’s.

*Silverware:  Could be a mix of our better stuff and what’s left of the set I took to college in 1984.

I’m a man who likes the finer things in life:  an $8 bottle of Pinot Noir. Vanity Fair dinner napkins (ok, I did have to go to the pantry to find the name brand – but they’re cushy), hard plastic plates that match, forks that don’t break in your mouth.  Cups with no bunnies.  I most enjoy dining at my mother-in-law’s house.  She is refined.  My wife was refined.  Jesse, not so much.

I’m going to try to take our dining experience up a notch.  I fear our inability to teach appropriate etiquette could very well negatively affect my daughters’ abilities to find husbands in their future.  On the brighter side, they should be poised to raise sons.

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