The Navigator of the Seas Part 1: The Not So Good

Posted by Danny

Spring Break!!!!  Whoa-Whoa!!!!

Someone once told me that the best way to keep your kids from getting into trouble during spring break is to get them in the habit of taking a great family trip that week.  I’m doing my best!

Last week we headed to Florida for a five night cruise on Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas.  I’d never been on a cruise before so this was quite an eye opener.  We really had a great time and I’m going to write more later this week.  But there were a few things I could have done without!

I went with some reservations.  I get a little claustrophobic and don’t really like the idea of being somewhere with no escape. 

My fears were realized when I walked into our room.  It was smallish.  And the bathroom – whew.  The shower was so little I had to wash the front of me, back out into the room, turn around and shimmy back in to wash my back side.  I am convinced that some of the passengers were unable to wash themselves on the boat – there just wasn’t a way.

I’m also convinced that one woman, who quickly garnered my attention (and ever other male on board) at the 11th floor pool, had to wash some of her parts individually as well.  She should have considered that before her surgery.

On night four, late in the evening, the boat pretty much turned over.  I didn’t like that. 

 I was in my room and although I did not fall, I turned sideways, back parallel to the door.  A friend was in a store on the Lido deck (I’m not sure of the name of that deck but I learned Lido from the Love Boat and liked saying it) and the sunglasses display toppled over onto the floor.  Apparently several hundred pair.  The women manning the shop began spouting out what must have been cuss words in a foreign tongue.  My friend wasn’t sure if they were torked at the captian or if they were fearful for their lives.

That night I slept with no covers thinking that if water came rushing in, I’d struggle to get the wet blanket off.  If it weren’t for a couple of Tylenol PM, I don’t think I’d have seen sleep the rest of the cruise after that debacle.

The final thing I wasn’t a fan of was the constant rocking.  It was particularly noticeable in bed and in the bathroom.   At night I sort of felt like my mother was rocking me again – a couple of nursery rhymes and I’d have been sucking my thumb.  It made me feel happy inside.  But peeing on board was like trying to take a leak while on a skateboard.  Number 2 wasn’t much better – tough to read a Newsweek in motion.  You didn’t move much in the shower because each side of you was sandwiched by the wall.

I never got sea sick but had to take a break while ice skating on the Promenade Deck (again, not sure of the real name).  Yes, they had an ice skating rink.  And an ice dancing show – which was remarkable considering it was the size of a school multipurpose room.  Imagine a triple sow cow in your den.

I nearly cried as we walked off the ship on Saturday… for two reasons:

1) I decided it would be faster to carry our own lugguage out of the ship.  I toted eight bags down six floor because we couldn’t get an elevator to stop and then they requried you to walk three miles to customs where I declared two $11 neclaces and a pair of pink earrings.

2) We had to drive 12 hours home.

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8 Comments

  1. Deanne Wheeler

     /  May 2, 2011

    Stephen, our youngest daughter Caroline, and I must have passed you as we embarked on the Navigator of the Seas last Sat. afternoon and returned on Thurs. Your descriptions of the accomodations are so perfect! We had a pretty smooth sailing however. There were a few rockin times and we still seem to be on a moving ship every now and then. Sorry we weren’t on the cruise at the same time.

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  May 2, 2011

      Ahh – missed you by a hair. It was a ton of fun although tight quarters!

      Reply
  2. Aunt Susan

     /  May 2, 2011

    Bruce, you should have had someone plan this for you. a first time trip needs an experiences cruiser.
    Next time don’t go cheap and opt for the balcony, it really makes a difference. I would not consider sailing again without one. Arn’t you lucky your Father in law gave up sailing his boat?
    I want to hear about the fun stuff.

    Reply
  3. Linda Smith

     /  May 3, 2011

    Bruce, your aunt was right when she said you should have talked to someone who has sailed several times. We have taken 16 cruizes thus far. Jennings would go every six months if we could afford to do so. I alwalys wanted Jean and Wayne to go with us. It is more fun when you have friends to go with you. We went with the entire family when Jennings retired. It was the greatest of all 16. I am glad you had a great time. Much Love Linda

    Reply
  4. Courtney

     /  May 3, 2011

    The last time I went on a cruise I got food poisoning and had to get a shot IN MY BUTT at the infirmary from someone who did not speak English. Then as dad was walking me back to the room he realized he forgot my pills so as he was going back to get them the shot kicked in and I fell down in the hallway and army-crawled to my room while everyone was looking at the “drunk girl” who obviously drank so much she couldn’t even walk. Also, one night the boat was rocking so bad they had to put barf bags on every staircase and in every elevator.. just in case someone couldn’t make it to the bathroom.

    Reply
    • Mae

       /  May 3, 2011

      Courtney, as sick as I can get in a car I’d have to spend my time passed out from medication or I’d be the one using the barf bags.

      Reply
  5. Cherith

     /  May 4, 2011

    Sweet. Someone has already taught your eldest the “hand-on-the-hip-I’m-a-model” pose. 🙂

    Reply
  6. I’m sorry your cruise didn’t turn out as well as you had hoped. We’ve been on about a dozen or more and absolutely love them. Most of ours were on Carnival. Good luck with your next one. Don’t give up.

    Reply

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