The Kid Sabbatical

They left me.  Yep.  All three of my girls trekked down to Camp Seafarer for a full five weeks.  Today I pick up Michelle, and I am so, so happy.

When Lisa died seven years ago, in addition to drowning in grief, I developed a fear of being alone.  The thought of staying in our house without other human beings consumed me.  I worked to stagger kid sleepovers so that all wouldn’t be gone at once.  I did the same with overnight camp, picking one up before sending the next.  I was paralyzed by the mere thought of quiet.

When I turned 50, I assumed I was complete.  I am happy, understand my strengths and limitations and am comfortable with who I have become.  What I didn’t expect was more self-growth.  I thought my insides were pretty set – sort of like the gray hair – there was no reversing what had developed; it is what it is.

What I have discovered over the past month is that, even as an aging dude, I’m ever changing, ever growing, ever maturing.  Yeah, I have REALLY missed my kids over the past 36 days (not that I was counting) but this time apart has allotted me time to rejuvenate and to focus on areas of my life that I’ve somewhat neglected.

This past month I’ve been able to focus on my relationship with my girlfriend, Julie.  she doesn’t live in Raleigh so the ability to head to Charlotte or on vacation together has given us the chance to pull back the curtain a bit.  I’ve discovered she’s cooler than I had imagined.  And best of all, after getting to know me even more, she’s still taking my calls!

I’ve exercised, slept hard, read and watched my backlog of DVR’d CBS Sunday Morning shows (man am I old).  I’ve eaten dinner with a number of my buddies, visited my parents twice, and I even got a massage.

I’ve surprised myself this year.  Even at AARP age, there’s still hope to tweak my many imperfections and to face down my fears.  It isn’t over!

I have a long way to go, but it’s nice to know it’s not too late for improvement.

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7 Comments

  1. believe me when i say i personally understand this. my children are grown, married, and with children, and i’m divorced, having lived on my own for a while. i continue to learn about ‘me’ every day, every time i think i’ve got it down at last, i learn more. when i see my family i really love and appreciate them, but it is a nice time of life, with a slower pace, and a time to continue to develop myself. great post –

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  July 30, 2017

      It is scary and refreshing all rolled up together!

      Reply
  2. Kim Rebecca Hasty

     /  July 19, 2017

    Once again you have inspired me… your heartfelt and honest words always resonate with me… thank you for sharing from your soul…

    Reply
  3. Jo Nance

     /  July 19, 2017

    Never too late! Jim and I have started over with a 16 months. old at 77 and 66!! You’re in the center of God’s will. Be joyful!

    Reply
    • Danny Tanner

       /  July 30, 2017

      Ahh – that is probably stirring things up a bit at the Nance house! Enjoy.

      Reply
  4. Alma Cutler

     /  July 19, 2017

    So so happy for you Bruce! You deserve the best in life, you have been and still are the best father the girls could ever ask for! Lisa was special but God had a place for her! You live your life to the fullest! Love you!

    Reply

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