Daddy Vogue

jcrew tennis shoes

I don’t know if I’ll ever get remarried.  Perhaps in time, but I guess I’m not in a rush.

My mom says that she’s not going to die until I do.  If I want to keep her around, I should probably not – it might give her incentive to keep on trucking.

I have dated some.  The girls reaction has been funny.  They are supportive, but they find it difficult to believe that anyone would actually, without being under some sort of duress, would want to go out with me.

Me:  “DJ, I’m going out to dinner on Friday night.  Can you babysit?”

DJ:  “I guess.  What are you doing?”

Me:  “I have a date.”

DJ:  “Seriously?”

The seriously isn’t framed as I’m upset you’re going out.  The tone behind the word clearly conveys Poor, poor pathetic woman.  To be desperate enough to go on a date with my dad – even if he is paying.

Someone told me to try online dating.  There may be a day that I get to that – but it sure isn’t now.  I did, however, wonder what my profile might be:

Nearly 50-year-old widower

Skinny with slight love handles

Three teenage daughters (now that’s a selling point)

Works for a nonprofit ($$$)

Will always love his deceased wife

Might write a tell-all book about you at some point in the future

I mean, who wouldn’t be into that?

A few weeks ago I was heading out and went upstairs to give instructions to the troops.  DJ looked at me.

“Dad, are you meeting a woman?”

“Yeah.  Just a friend for a drink.”


She continued, “Dad, I like your shoes.”


“I also like your pants.”

“Thanks baby.”  I am so very, very cool.

“However, I don’t like them together.  Go change.”

I began my defense, “These are cool tennis shoes and J Crew cords!  We’re just going to a bar!  It’s casual!  Uncle Jesse has shoes like this!”

“No.  No he doesn’t.  This situation,” she pointed to my lower extremities, “is not working.”

I wasn’t about to let a 16-year-old dictate my wardrobe.  I’m a confident man.  She couldn’t tell me what to wear!

As I walked through the kitchen, I complained to Michelle, “Can you believe DJ told me to change my shoes?”

She glanced down from the iPad and down at my feet.  “Thank God.”

As I slipped on my boots I was disgusted with weakness.

I really haven’t dated that much and am in no big hurry.  It is difficult to find time.  But it is nice to occasionally hang out with females who aren’t married to my friends or whose primary concern isn’t acne.

Leave a comment


  1. At least the girls are honest and looking out for you. Sounds like you have a terrific bunch there. And I have no idea what J Crew cords are so I can’t even comment on the clothing combination. 🙂

  2. This post made me really happy for you. From a stranger’s view it looks like you are dealing with the stuff you never thought would be a part of your life with grace and humor. Think I’ve said it before, but I admire the heck out of you. And you are raising your girls right. I love that DJ worked two compliments in there before letting you know you had to change. She’s a smart cookie….cords and sneakers? Dude. You are killing me over here.

  3. hahahaaha! I wish my son would give feedback on my wardrobe choices. No matter what I have on, he tells me I look good. No matter if my hair is sticking out if five different directions, he tells me it is just fine.
    So, enjoying trying new things and heading out on dates, and just continue to change your shoes. 🙂

  4. Thanks for the giggle. Yay to you for getting out there and connecting with folks!

  5. I’ve tried the online dating… oh my, do I have stories! You are right, finding that right person happens in “right” time not on some schedule. I have learned that finding a person with a warm and open heart, finding them where they are….not trying to change them, can be a challenge.

    You will always love your past wife and any woman shouldn’t be scared of that. Be who you are, funny, kind, a great dad, a teacher, a leader, writer, and be proud!

    You’re a wonderful man! Love your stories! You always make my day gain a smile with your post.

  6. As a daughter who was living at home just two years ago, I have to say helping your parents with their wardrobe can be one of the most fun forms of bonding 🙂

  7. Children are so ruthless! But they keep you grounded….

  8. Always listen to your daughters in the wardrobe category. They definitely will never let you go out looking like a dud. Ha!

  9. Carolanne

     /  February 26, 2014

    That is really funny, I seem to remember a young man telling his mom, “Jean, that pink lipstick does not go with that red blouse, go change one or the other!” I’ll have to say that online dating is a hit or miss kind of thing. I did it and am happily married, but if I weren’t I’d be happy to go on a date with you. Don’t sell yourself short, you’re a catch! Love you.

  10. Aunt Susan

     /  February 27, 2014

    Really, you have 3 fashion mavens living with you, they should set your clothes out each night! And she did give you some compliments too! Looking forward to dinner.

  11. Evie Lichti

     /  February 27, 2014

    Ha! So now you’re living w/ the Fashion Police!! I knew those girls had learned well from their Mom!

  12. Mel Ham

     /  March 2, 2014

    I met your brother on line. The older I get the more I realize that it would be harder to do…plus now that I am here I can’t imagine doing it at all again. it was a sweet courtship tough. I’ll have to show you some of our conversation that I printed off and put into a book. we Talked for almost 2 months before meeting in person. computer first..then phone…then date. I know without a doubt that it is divine that I have him. I had resolved that I would raise my boy, keep my house up, and stay committed to church. I was done and not doing real well with the dating thing. I never wanted to be the mom that introduced Cam to a bunch of uncles. This said, somewhere, sometime,someone will hit you from behind and you never see it coming. Timing is essential and isn’t that what God always says or does for us. the shoe thing is important because I wore stylish flip flops on our first date and Chad said my feet really did something for him….Listen to the girls…..I love the way they talk and advise you…

  13. My grown up sons are still ‘advising’ me. It’s lovely that they still care. Enjoy.


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